"When we get results in family mediation, it is because of the trust we build"
Separation and divorce is painful and some degree of conflict is inevitable when moving to the future. Wye Valley Mediation aims to provide a calm and safe haven where you can each speak and be heard. Sometimes this can be hard work, and mediators are trained to use questioning and facilitation techniques that help you communicate constructively with one another.
If you have children you will also have a continuing relationship as parents long after you have ended your partnership. In mediation, the best interests of the children are the focal point.
Separated parents information booklet:
What is mediation?
‘A confidential, structured process in which a neutral third party assists voluntary participants in resolving their dispute’
Tell me more about the process;
We start by having an individual appointment, a ‘Mediation Information Assessment Meeting’ (MIAMS). If your case is appropriate for mediation and you both agree, we can move to the next step;
Mediation 1; Identifying the issues that you wish to discuss and gathering the information that you will need in order to resolve them. In finance cases your preparation will involve completing a form which identifies the value of your assets, income, outgoings and liabilities.
Mediation 2; We will work on the information that we have gathered and use it to help us explore and generate options for settlement. Your mediator can give you legal information about your options but you may find it useful to take advice from your Solicitor/Financial Advisor and we will produce the documents needed to enable you to get clear advice.
Mediation 3; Reaching settlement – we will not tell you what to do, it is for you to make a decision jointly about your future.
Mediation 4 and 5; Some clients are able to settle by mediation 3, others may need 1 or 2 further sessions depending on the complexity of issues to be discussed, whether further information is needed in respect of the settlement options and if both children and finances are to be discussed (All Issues Mediation).
We also recommend that whilst you are separating and undergoing mediation that you seek emotional support. This support may come from friends and family but it can also pay dividends to have some professional support from an independent caring professional who can help you make sense of your feelings and help you feel safe.
Including Your Child in Your Decision Making Process
We believe that it is important to keep your child informed in an age appropriate way about the changes in his or her family. Many studies show that lack of information leaves children feeling confused and distressed. We will
talk with you both and give you information about ways to communicate the changes to your children and different strategies that you can use to help them adjust when they are in transition between homes.
Studies have shown that children value their voices being heard whilst parents make decisions about their future. Claire Jackson is qualified as a Direct Child Consultant (and is a Parent Leader on the Incredible Years Programme through Powys County Council) and can speak to your child about their wishes and feelings.
This will allow you to feed this information into your decision making process. It is important that your children do not feel responsible for any conflict, and feel safe and heard during this part of the process. Claire will give you detailed information about how to include your children and whether it is appropriate before you take this step.